My Journal by Junior Win

My Journal

I tear off the chapter of shame in our country’s history. Thus I open with the following chapitre my actual experiences during the time of horrible happening, see to be no more than an ordinary citizen. But don’t judge highly of me. I was just a coward that die many times before dead. I do nothing except being scared.

To tell you the truth

Telling the truth, I gave up praying, and reading or reciting Buddha Parrita Pali Suttas since my mother passed away. It doesn’t mean that I was not a Buddhist any more. I just stopped it for no reason. But I still did meditation for the reason that for my mind to be calm and peaceful. (Well, don’t think of me high, I am still restless. My life is still like a fool’s paradise.).

When the whole country became a huge concentration camps, and our life was in danger, I tried to recite Buddha Parrita Pali Suttas. I believe It gave protection from dangers. But I forgot some of Parrita Pali Suttas that I used to recite by heart some years ago. So, I searched Pali Parrita Suttas books at my grandpa’s bookshelves. Luckily, I found some booklet of it. I tried to read some of them with correct pronunciations.

(‘What a coincidence! Today is our birthday!’)
(Drawing by Maung Yit)

At the night of the 14th March of 2021, there were shootings around us. By the lit of the moon, I read carefully and recited word by word of Parrita Pali Suttas. I was praying, and praying. My wishes to safe from this terrible situation to all the people around me.

(‘Please help my cat, dear doctor.’)
(Drawing by Maung Yit)

My dear cat was sick during that horrible time. I called the vet but the doctor could not risk her life to come and see my cat. (We have only a less than one kilo apart!) I also could not dare to go outside under the situation. Soldiers were near us. My heart was broken when my cat was dying. I could do nothing except staying near him.

(‘OMG! What are these?”)
(Drawing by Maung Yit – cartoonist.)
(On that day, I did not forget to wear mask. But my brother, cartoonist – Maung Yit forgot to draw the mask. So, please fill in with your imagination, thanks.)

Bombs exploded under the broad daylight, explosion blasted even on the road. I was scared. But when I needed food, I drove to the market with careful driving. I was afraid the wheels met the explosion! My heart was always beating all the time.

War is really coming to us?

Rumors are everywhere. They are going to kill us. The astrologer predicts that this month will decide the future. The fate of people will be at risk. Dig a bomb shelter for your safety. You should have to keep foods for a month or more. Unfortunate people may sacrifice their life in this month. Remember, some are born victims. (I don’t know I was born what?) Keep doing good deeds, and reciting Buddha Parrita Suttas 24/7. Pray for your life, etc, etc…..

I don’t want to believe whatever they said. I think of something else. If the war is really coming, we should have to leave the last words to our loved ones. Yes, of course, I saw it in the movie! People said the last wishes or the last words when they were dying or the last day came. So, let me say like, ‘when I am dead, my dearest.’ (Haha! Are you writing a drama? Say something serious.).

I sent messages to my loved ones. I would like to say I was not so bad or have not been so rude. Of course, I have to apologize to whom it may concern before too late. In the Buddhist way of life, people ask forgiveness to the person for any wrongful action or hurt we do to them, and the person will accept with their truthful heart (I hope so!).

(… Don’t worry about me, …..I am still alive, I am still in one piece…..
I can make everything okay, …. )
(Dawing by Maung Yit)

Where Angels Fear To Tread

I am glad for the first time in my life, for my mother who passed away before 2020 for she never knew what the awful taste of covid-19 and the harrowing experience how was like. I also am glad for my friendly friend who found somebody new before 2021, no need to share any more the nightmare I have to go through.

How my life will go on, I still was praying nor only for my safety, but also for all the people, my loved ones, enemy or foes around the world protect from dangers or calamities or natural disasters.

Be safe and be happy.

Good luck, all!